Does It Matter Who Files for Divorce First? A Strategic Look
When a marriage comes to an end, the path forward is often filled with questions. How do we divide our assets? Where will the kids live? Who gets the family home? Also, a more technical question often arises: Does it matter who files for divorce first?
Many people believe it makes no difference, especially in a no-fault divorce state. While it’s true that the judge won’t favor one spouse over the other just for initiating the process, there are subtle strategic advantages to being the one who takes the first step.
Filing for Divorce First
Legally speaking, the court doesn’t care who files the divorce petition. The outcome of your divorce case will be based on the facts, state law, and what is equitable. However, the filing spouse can gain several procedural and psychological benefits.
Why? Because the petitioner is the one who starts the clock. They get to choose when and where the divorce complaint is filed. This gives them time to get financially prepared, gather evidence, and consult with a divorce lawyer before the other spouse even knows what’s happening.
Understand the key differences between Divorce and Annulment.
Key Advantages of Being the Petitioner
So, what are the tangible benefits of filing the initial divorce filing? Let’s break down the main ones.
Choosing the Jurisdiction
To file for divorce in Tennessee, at least one spouse must have lived in the state for six months prior to filing. Venue, however, depends on where the parties live and where the separation occurred. If both spouses live in Tennessee but in different counties, the divorce must be filed in the county where the responding spouse has resided for the past six (6) months.
If the responding spouse has not lived in Tennessee for the required six months, the case must be filed in the county where the separation occurred. If the separation did not occur in Tennessee, the filing spouse may file in the county where they reside.
Getting a Head Start on Preparation
Before serving the divorce papers, you can work with a family law attorney in Knoxville to gather all necessary financial records, such as bank statements, tax returns, and information on marital assets. This preparation allows you to present a clear picture of your financial situation from day one.
Requesting Temporary Orders
These orders can address pressing family law matters while the divorce proceedings are ongoing. For instance, you can request temporary child custody, child support, and spousal support (also known as taxable alimony or spousal maintenance). You can also ask for restraining orders to prevent the other spouse from selling marital property or draining marital funds.
Presenting Your Case First
You present your case, your evidence, and your arguments before the other spouse responds. This gives you the chance to frame the narrative and make a strong first impression on the judge. While not a guarantee of success, it can be a significant psychological advantage.
If you are in Tennessee, you should understand whether domestic violence is a felony or not.
Does it Ever Matter If Your Spouse Files First?
You are not automatically at a disadvantage. As the respondent, you have the right to respond to the divorce complaint and file your own counter-petition. You can still fight for your rights regarding child custody, division of assets, and spousal support.
The most important thing is to act quickly. Once you are served with divorce papers by a process server, you have a limited time to respond. Use this time to hire a skilled family law attorney in Greeneville and start preparing your own case.
What Happens After the Filing?
Whether you file first or second, the legal steps of the divorce process are largely the same.
- Filing the Petition: One spouse (the petitioner) files a divorce complaint with the court and pays a filing fee.
- Serving the Papers: The other spouse (the respondent) is formally served with the divorce papers.
- The Response: The respondent files an answer to the petition, either agreeing or disagreeing with the claims.
- Discovery: Both sides exchange information and financial records. This is where you gather evidence to support your claims.
- Negotiation/Mediation: Most cases are settled out of court through a separation agreement or mediation. In Tennessee, mediation is required in most contested divorce cases.
- Trial: If you cannot agree, a judge will decide the outstanding legal issues at trial.
Explore more: Understand the difference between dissolution and nullity of a marriage.
The Bottom Line
So, does it matter who files for divorce first? While it doesn’t decide who “wins,” it can offer a valuable strategic edge. It provides a head start on what can be a long and challenging process.
Ultimately, the most critical factor in any divorce case is not who files first, but who is better prepared. Whether you are the petitioner or the respondent, having a solid legal plan and a skilled family law attorney by your side is what truly matters.
Start Your Next Chapter with BFP Law
Whether you are contemplating filing for divorce or have just been served with papers, the time to act is now. The family law attorneys at BFP Law Firm are here to guide you through every step of the divorce process.
Whether you need strong defence for a DUI or criminal charge, compassionate guidance through an adoption matter, or determined representation for a personal injury claim, our team is here to protect your rights and your future. We help clients across Tennessee make informed decisions and protect their interests regarding child custody, child support, and marital assets. Contact us today for a confidential consultation to discuss your case.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
The biggest mistake is often letting emotions drive financial decisions. Acting out of anger or spite can lead to costly court battles and an unfair settlement. It’s crucial to stay focused on the long-term goal of a fair resolution, listen to your attorney, and choose your battles wisely.
Legally, it does not matter in the final outcome. However, the person who files first (the petitioner) can gain procedural advantages, such as choosing the court’s location and setting the initial tone of the case. They also get a head start on preparing their legal strategy.
Gender does not matter in a divorce filing. The court is legally bound to be impartial, regardless of whether the man or woman files first. The strategic advantages of filing first apply equally to both spouses. The focus should be on preparation, not gender.
The 3 C’s are often cited as: “You didn’t Cause it, you can’t Control it, and you can’t Cure it.” This mantra helps individuals emotionally detach from the other spouse’s behavior and focus on what they can control: their own actions and responses during the divorce process.
While both spouses often suffer emotionally and financially, studies frequently show that women and children experience a more significant financial decline post-divorce. However, men often report greater emotional and psychological distress due to disruptions in social networks and family life. Every situation is unique.

